Recently a very close friend of mine died. He was quite elderly and is death did not come as a surprise. At his request there was no wake. There would be no wake—nothing. He was being cremated and only his immediate family would release his ashes as he had directed.
Until I sat there trying to get a handle on the “no wake” I hadn’t realized the role a wake played in the closure I needed. There is a reason funeral rites have been around for more than 300,000 yrs. They allow us to “close” the circle of life. We meet, we love, we part.
I needed to say goodbye and close that circle with my friend. I created a “wake” for just us. I devoted time to his memory. I remembered our special times, how we laughed, sometimes cried, crazy vacations, great restaurants, family joys and sorrows we shared. I said goodbye to him but never to his memory. I found closure.